I guess I come off as very straight. And that's O.K. by me. I'm not out to make a point about my sexuality or anyone else's by looking or acting any certain way. I couldn't care less how I "come off", really, except that I resent the whole idea of labels ("labels, schmabels" as Belinda put it) and the stereotypes into which many people (gay, straight, and everywhere in between) expect other people to fit.

Yes, that's right. There are gay people with certain expectations about how other gay people "should" act, too. And I find it ignorant, unsophisticated, and irritating.

I remember being in my early 20s and sitting along a banquette at a lesbian nightclub called Hepburn's in Philadelphia. I was there with two friends; a very "gay-looking" gay woman, and a gentle giant of an African-American man, gay and Jewish in a beaded yarmulka.

A female ambled over to us. She was what you'd call "butch" in the extreme. Everything about her was harsh-looking. She wore a wallet on a chain, her hair was dyed platinum and cropped ultra-short. Her eyes were small, narrow and dark like a rodent's. Her nose was long and thin. Her teeth were small and perfectly even; their edges looked sharp enough to engrave small keepsakes.

She leaned over me and thrust her face close into mine, scowling.

"ARE YOU GAY?" she demanded. << MORE >>

I recently sat in the audience for a taping of ABC's Nightline at Cooper Union in New York City. Juju Chang moderated a debate titled, “Is it OK to Be Fat?”

The issues touched on during the debate were the same old same old, as far as I was concerned. Roth asserted that thin people are unfairly shouldering the financial burden of fat people and their fat-related diseases. There was bickering back and forth about the effects of dieting and food restriction, about eating disorders. It was argued that fat people are treated unfairly by the medical community, that cupcakes should be kept out of the classroom.

What no one was talking about, however – what no one ever seems to have the clarity (or perhaps the balls) to talk about – is fat hatred framing itself as humanitarianism, with society's hearty blessing. << MORE >>

Are you one of those people who's not particularly fond of exercise, but you know darn well it's good for you (and that's the only reason you consider doing it)?

Is it ridiculously hard to get yourself motivated just to go for a walk (the simplest and most no-nonsense of all exercises, in my opinion)? And is it ridiculously easy to find any excuse not to?

Yeah. We have that in common.

You may already have watched Episode #2 of my video series "Kim Weighs In", where I shared with you some of my favorite excuses not to exercise...and that was in pleasant weather. Winter can make it even more challenging to get off your butt for a healthy stroll.

Besides the obvious deterrent of the cold, two things that tend to keep me sedentary in winter are: 1) wheezing caused by cold air, and 2) fear of slipping and falling on ice and/or snow... << MORE >>

Someone on Facebook today asked, "Have you ever seen a ghost or experienced a haunting?" What a delicious question.

Maybe I have.

I'll let you be the judge... << MORE >>

They put the dollar sign after the number, like this: 12$

They open their job ads by talking about how their company is the "leader" in such-and-such industry. (Oh, PLEASE, Mr. Scammer, can't you come up with something NEW? We are SO tired of reading this one...)

They use spaces instead of colons in the work hours, like this: 9 30 to 5 30

They tell you to call or send your resume to... << MORE >>

On a recent flight into Haiti, much-needed medical supplies like antibiotics and pain medication were bumped to make room for something deemed far more urgently-needed: audio versions of a self-help book.

The book, "Answers to Life's Questions (In One Handy Volume)," was written by Jerry Nazarene, a motivational speaker with an emphatic fan base.

After Nazarene published a plea on his web site for fans to help Haiti, Doug Ballad, one of Nazarene's followers with a regional "fan club" of sorts, managed to score space on an outgoing supply flight to Haiti for his contribution: hundreds of audio recordings of Nazarene's book. The recordings were packaged much like the ready-to-use audio books sold in airports -- disposable, pre-powered, cassette-like things with earbuds included.

"Right now, what Haitians need is comfort," Ballad told one journalist. "Nothing has inspired me as profoundly or given me such lasting comfort as what Jerry Nazarene has to say. I just knew that if I could get Haitians to feel the way I do when I walk out of one of Jerry's seminars, they could... << MORE >>

Kim Weighs In: The Video Series

Episode 4
"Have a Bawl"
January 2010

It’s interesting how when we start to cry, someone’s usually quick to tell us, “Awww, don’t cry.” But you should.

Giving yourself permission to cry is one of the best things you can possibly do for your health and wellbeing. Find out why in Episode 4 of... << MORE >>

The Provincetown Fringe Festival in Asbury Park presents:

The First Annual Writers Festival

I'll be reading a five-minute piece along with many other fine writers presenting monologues, essays, poetry, short stories, even ventriloquism!  (Wanna get up and try exercise some new material?  Slots still open for performers!)

Restaurant Plan B
705 Cookman Avenue
Asbury Park, NJ

Sunday, February 7, 2010
4:00 PM

Tickets are $15, which includes an all-you-can-eat buffet (B.Y.O.B.) and the performance.

Seating is limited, so make your reservation soon at (732) 807-4710

Information: (732) 807-4052

Hope you can make it!

        

On Craig's List, it's really getting out of hand.

Every day, hundreds of advertisements for job openings are posted nationwide at www.craigslist.com. The problem lately, though, is that the majority of them are fake.

A particularly low breed of cyber-criminal is targeting the vulnerable, depairing throng of unemployed across America. They use the convenient no-cost ads on Craig's List to lure desperate job seekers to respond to postings, only to rip them off or attempt to steal their identity.

There are a number of scams currently working through these job ads.

One scam directs the job seeker to...

<< MORE >>

So, you've got a friend with offensive body odor. What are you supposed to do?

Should you inform them of the situation, gently, so they can do something about it? Or should you keep your trap shut, to avoid hurting their feelings? What's the kindest possible move?

Well don't ask me. See, I used to have this friend, a woman I'll call Rita. When I first met Rita I noticed a slight unpleasant odor about her person, but I didn't think much about it.

It's easy for me to dismiss and forgive these smallish, smelly social infractions because I have a paranoid belief in my own stinkyness, the seeds of which were planted in the 8th grade when a mean little girl named Dana told me I had B.O. Back then, I probably did. No one taught me how to use deodorant; I had to figure it out for myself (it was the next thing I did after asking my mother what "B.O." stood for). But since that day, I've asked many an intimate companion to "smell me, just smell me. Tell me honestly, do I smell?" I try very hard to keep personal odor in check.

So anyway, my unfortunate 8th grade incident and that resulting hypervigilence have made me more readily forgiving of others who do stink a little. I always think, "that could just as easily be me!"

But eventually, Rita's odor required no hypervigilence. It got a little worse each time I saw her, until it was a bold, sour cloud traveling with and around her. And I wasn't the only one noticing anymore. << MORE >>