Fat-on-Fat Bullying, or, The Obesity Taboo
Here are some words that mean "fat":
Rotund. Corpulent. Fleshy. Pudgy. Chubby. Plump. Obese.
All of these words describe an abundance of adipose tissue.
All of these words describe me, and I'm not ashamed to use any of them.
Some people, fat activists in particular, have reclaimed the word "fat" and employ it in a liberal, relaxed fashion.
Still other people remain uncomfortable with the word "fat". This sense of unease is the result of decades of negative connotations, fostered in ignorance. But in fact, "fat" is just another adjective like "blue" or "tall" or "cheerful", and is only as loaded as you agree to make it.
That's why so many fat people like me are breezy about using the word "fat" to describe themselves. We don't see the state of fatness as being such a horrible thing, worthy of taboo. Fat people have reclaimed the word.
However, I didn't realize until last night how uneven-handed some size acceptance advocates are about stripping fat vocabulary of its unflattering undertones.
Last night, I broadcast two posts through an e-mail service called Help A Reporter Out ("HARO"), seeking interview subjects for articles I'm writing related to fatness and fitness. In both posts, I used the word "obese".
And I caught shit for it.
As a member of the Association for Size Diversity & Health ("ASDAH"), I receive daily e-mail updates about media items of interest to the community. Sometimes size diversity-related HARO posts are forwarded, as were mine.
One fellow ASDAH member, not realizing I was a subscriber to the e-mail updates, expressed enthusiasm for my article, but suggested that "Someone needs to tell this woman to switch to the word 'fat'!"
Hi there. I'm "this woman". Nice to make your acquaintance.
But, excuse me -- "switch"? Switch to "fat"?
What is this, some kind of linguistic taste test? Suddenly I was back in the '70s, trailing my mother in the supermarket with impatient lead feet, sporting my favorite butterfly t-shirt and being accosted by a lady in an apron to "Take the Pepsi Challenge!" Can you tell the difference between this word for abundant adipose tissue, and this one?
Hmmm. Tastes an awful lot like "obese". I like it. It works for me.
OK, now try this one.
Mmmm. Hey! Now that's a little different! They're both tasty, but I can definitely see popping open a can of this adjective when I crave a little variety.
Well, let's do the reveal. Ready?
Oh, wow! The second one is "fat"!
Sure is! So. Do you plan on making the switch?
You...you mean, permanently?
Uh...well, no.
You see, it's a beautiful language we have here, loaded with options, and I plan to make the most of them.
The woman's comment read as though I was being encouraged to use the word "fat" exclusively, like some sort of preferred pet term of the size acceptance movement; like I should forego all use of available similes, especially "obese".
Shortly thereafter, I got a direct e-mail from a woman in Portland, Oregon who wrote:
"I saw your note on HARO and have to ask how 'size positive' an article whose writer uses the word 'obese' is likely to be. It's not exactly a size positive word. Do you anticipate using it in your article?"
I immediately wondered: how is "obese" a size negative word?
Just like "fat", "obese" is only as loaded as you make it.
Right?
Bill Fabrey is the membership chair of ASDAH, founder of NAAFA (the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance) and co-founder of the Council on Size & Weight Discrimination. He shed some light on the issue for me when he wrote:
"...the use of the word 'obese' is one that many (but not all) in ASDAH find disconcerting, because its popularization was from the medical community, who almost always see it as pathological, and its use almost always seems to be derogatory."
OK, but I still don't get the reasoning behind this "selective" linguistic reclaiming.
All right, so "obesity" is used in a derogatory manner by some people, including those in the medical community.
Well, so is "fat".
Does it really matter who turned it into a four-letter word, what meaning they assigned to it, and why?
"Obese", like "fat", is still a word describing a fullness or largeness of a body due to the amount and/or placement of that body's fatty tissue.
And when anyone, including any so-called "size positive" person, attempts to discourage the use of the word "obese", they are insulting fat people everywhere, just as if they tried to hush up use of the word "fat". Either way, they are galvinizing the negative connotations layered upon these words, adding strength to the popular belief that there's an inherent wrongness in being obese/fat/rotund/stocky/plump/chubby.
Choosing to reclaim "fat" but not "obese" makes about as much sense as Glenn Beck -- with or without his meds.
And what I really don't understand is the subtle vocabulary-bullying going on by certain size acceptance activists who really should know better.
I mean, size acceptance advocates are generally pretty emphatic about people of all sizes being treated with respect, and being given room to be themselves in our society without being chastened for it. At least, that's the gist of their lip service.
That's why it's so ironic when these supposedly wide-open-minded people attempt to chastise me for: a) refusing to see my obesity as inherently evil, regardless of what any doctor managed to convince his or her self about its supposed "pathology"; b) choosing to strip all words equating to "fat"* of all shame and negative connotations placed upon them by less-than-enlightened people; and c) refusing to swallow an outdated, illogical code of size positive verbiage in favor of embracing my fat and owning every word* ever invented to describe it.
I can feel this way, you see, because I completely accept my fat. It is what it is. The reasons I am fat are what they are. They do not make me a bad person, and they don't make me significantly weaker in character than anyone else who can lay claim to the human experience. So why should I feel so ashamed in claiming my fatness, whether I'm "fat" or "obese"?
* I do take exception to employing the word "overweight", which is often used as a synonym for "fat". "Overweight" clearly implies that there exists an ideal, correct or desirable weight for an individual, and that the individual being described is "over" such weight. Words like "fat" and "obese", however, more generally describe the state of having an abundance of fatty tissue, without blatantly inserting a judgment about the appropriateness of such state. Likewise, I would never use terms like "overfat" or "overobese" which, by virtue of the inclusion of "over", have a handy-dandy, built-in opinion about how much fat is OK.
The only opinions attached to "obese" or "fat" are those of the person employing the words; and since this is true across the board, it makes "obese" ripe for reclaiming -- by a fat girl like me, or anyone else.
Rotund. Corpulent. Fleshy. Pudgy. Chubby. Plump. Obese.
All of these words describe an abundance of adipose tissue.
All of these words describe me, and I'm not ashamed to use any of them.
Some people, fat activists in particular, have reclaimed the word "fat" and employ it in a liberal, relaxed fashion.
Still other people remain uncomfortable with the word "fat". This sense of unease is the result of decades of negative connotations, fostered in ignorance. But in fact, "fat" is just another adjective like "blue" or "tall" or "cheerful", and is only as loaded as you agree to make it.
That's why so many fat people like me are breezy about using the word "fat" to describe themselves. We don't see the state of fatness as being such a horrible thing, worthy of taboo. Fat people have reclaimed the word.
However, I didn't realize until last night how uneven-handed some size acceptance advocates are about stripping fat vocabulary of its unflattering undertones.
Last night, I broadcast two posts through an e-mail service called Help A Reporter Out ("HARO"), seeking interview subjects for articles I'm writing related to fatness and fitness. In both posts, I used the word "obese".
And I caught shit for it.
As a member of the Association for Size Diversity & Health ("ASDAH"), I receive daily e-mail updates about media items of interest to the community. Sometimes size diversity-related HARO posts are forwarded, as were mine.
One fellow ASDAH member, not realizing I was a subscriber to the e-mail updates, expressed enthusiasm for my article, but suggested that "Someone needs to tell this woman to switch to the word 'fat'!"
Hi there. I'm "this woman". Nice to make your acquaintance.
But, excuse me -- "switch"? Switch to "fat"?
What is this, some kind of linguistic taste test? Suddenly I was back in the '70s, trailing my mother in the supermarket with impatient lead feet, sporting my favorite butterfly t-shirt and being accosted by a lady in an apron to "Take the Pepsi Challenge!" Can you tell the difference between this word for abundant adipose tissue, and this one?
Hmmm. Tastes an awful lot like "obese". I like it. It works for me.
OK, now try this one.
Mmmm. Hey! Now that's a little different! They're both tasty, but I can definitely see popping open a can of this adjective when I crave a little variety.
Well, let's do the reveal. Ready?
Oh, wow! The second one is "fat"!
Sure is! So. Do you plan on making the switch?
You...you mean, permanently?
Uh...well, no.
You see, it's a beautiful language we have here, loaded with options, and I plan to make the most of them.
The woman's comment read as though I was being encouraged to use the word "fat" exclusively, like some sort of preferred pet term of the size acceptance movement; like I should forego all use of available similes, especially "obese".
Shortly thereafter, I got a direct e-mail from a woman in Portland, Oregon who wrote:
"I saw your note on HARO and have to ask how 'size positive' an article whose writer uses the word 'obese' is likely to be. It's not exactly a size positive word. Do you anticipate using it in your article?"
I immediately wondered: how is "obese" a size negative word?
Just like "fat", "obese" is only as loaded as you make it.
Right?
Bill Fabrey is the membership chair of ASDAH, founder of NAAFA (the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance) and co-founder of the Council on Size & Weight Discrimination. He shed some light on the issue for me when he wrote:
"...the use of the word 'obese' is one that many (but not all) in ASDAH find disconcerting, because its popularization was from the medical community, who almost always see it as pathological, and its use almost always seems to be derogatory."
OK, but I still don't get the reasoning behind this "selective" linguistic reclaiming.
All right, so "obesity" is used in a derogatory manner by some people, including those in the medical community.
Well, so is "fat".
Does it really matter who turned it into a four-letter word, what meaning they assigned to it, and why?
"Obese", like "fat", is still a word describing a fullness or largeness of a body due to the amount and/or placement of that body's fatty tissue.
And when anyone, including any so-called "size positive" person, attempts to discourage the use of the word "obese", they are insulting fat people everywhere, just as if they tried to hush up use of the word "fat". Either way, they are galvinizing the negative connotations layered upon these words, adding strength to the popular belief that there's an inherent wrongness in being obese/fat/rotund/stocky/plump/chubby.
Choosing to reclaim "fat" but not "obese" makes about as much sense as Glenn Beck -- with or without his meds.
And what I really don't understand is the subtle vocabulary-bullying going on by certain size acceptance activists who really should know better.
I mean, size acceptance advocates are generally pretty emphatic about people of all sizes being treated with respect, and being given room to be themselves in our society without being chastened for it. At least, that's the gist of their lip service.
That's why it's so ironic when these supposedly wide-open-minded people attempt to chastise me for: a) refusing to see my obesity as inherently evil, regardless of what any doctor managed to convince his or her self about its supposed "pathology"; b) choosing to strip all words equating to "fat"* of all shame and negative connotations placed upon them by less-than-enlightened people; and c) refusing to swallow an outdated, illogical code of size positive verbiage in favor of embracing my fat and owning every word* ever invented to describe it.
I can feel this way, you see, because I completely accept my fat. It is what it is. The reasons I am fat are what they are. They do not make me a bad person, and they don't make me significantly weaker in character than anyone else who can lay claim to the human experience. So why should I feel so ashamed in claiming my fatness, whether I'm "fat" or "obese"?
* I do take exception to employing the word "overweight", which is often used as a synonym for "fat". "Overweight" clearly implies that there exists an ideal, correct or desirable weight for an individual, and that the individual being described is "over" such weight. Words like "fat" and "obese", however, more generally describe the state of having an abundance of fatty tissue, without blatantly inserting a judgment about the appropriateness of such state. Likewise, I would never use terms like "overfat" or "overobese" which, by virtue of the inclusion of "over", have a handy-dandy, built-in opinion about how much fat is OK.
The only opinions attached to "obese" or "fat" are those of the person employing the words; and since this is true across the board, it makes "obese" ripe for reclaiming -- by a fat girl like me, or anyone else.
Posted by Kim Brittingham at 10/29/2009 10:29 PM 
Categories: Fat...Body Image...Eating Disorders
Tags: fat body image
Categories: Fat...Body Image...Eating Disorders
Tags: fat body image
You're a better Chubbette, than I am, Kim - still not comfortable with "obese," which equates only to "overweight" in my mind. I promise to work on it though :)
Reply to this
Well Carol, the way I see it, the dictionary says nothing about obese meaning "too" fat. It was ignorant, lazy, narrow-minded medical people who stuck the "too" tag onto "obese", long enough and consistently enough to make fat people feel uncomfortable around the word. I call foul. I'm just not willing to roll over and let those jackasses win. I want the word back, dammit. I mean, c'mon -- how many times has a doctor looked at a patient and said ruefully, "The problem is, you're FAT." Yet "fat" has become the "correct" word in the fat acceptance movement, and "obese" is off-limits? I'm just not willing to give up my linguistic options that easily. It might be harder to stand up to a bunch of prickly fat activists who've been robbed of a perfectly good, neutral descriptor than to simply go along with the trend -- but I tend to think choosing the harder thing ends up being the more rewarding path in the end. Thanks for being so open!
Reply to this
I am fat, obese, Reubenesque, rotund, traditionally built, chubby... All the euphemisms in the world aren't going to change my body... or, at this point in my life, the way I view myself.
No matter what word we use it's going to be charged for some with negative self image... self image that doesn't come from the word, but from the self.
After all, it's not like we're using "lard-ass" or any of the other insulting things we've been called in the past. But we do need a word to describe our condition if we're to talk about it openly and without shame. I don't have any problem with the words fat or obese.
Reply to this
Great post! the word police are like the fashion police, always telling us what's in or out... If a word or an outfit fits you, and you like it, use it!
Here is my poem to beautiful descriptive fat words from "More to Love"
Describe Yourself
Curvaceous, Shapely, Ample.
Luxuriant, Generous, Opulent, Lush.
Prolific, Fleshy, Yielding.
Voluptuous, Bountiful, Copious, Soft.
Abundant, Supple, Rounded.
Magnificent,Sumptuous,Plentiful,Grand.
Wonderful.
Woman.
Reply to this
Kim, you choose not to use the word "overweight" because you judge that it has inherently negative implications that you prefer not to endorse.
I feel precisely the same way about the word "obese."
You write:
The only opinions attached to "obese" or "fat" are those of the person employing the words; and since this is true across the board, it makes "obese" ripe for reclaiming -- by a fat girl like me, or anyone else.
This is simply not true. The word "obese" pathologizes weight diversity. Also, it is used right now to deny individual fat people like me health insurance. I am not allowed to purchase health insurance at any price because medical experts label me "obese." This word is a direct threat to my life!
I am incredibly sad to learn that a person with whom I would otherwise heartily agree -- you -- endorses a concept that I have to oppose in order to save my own life. Because of your word choice, I cannot look to you for any sort of support of camaraderie, but instead feel defensive and threatened by you.
Reply to this
Marilyn,
First of all, I must say that I'm shocked that you would admit to feeling "threatened by" me based on a word choice. Up until now I've been under the impression that you were a much stronger person and role model, but here, you're giving ME immense power to make YOU feel "threatened", simply because I exercise my right to choose a word that feels comfortable to ME. While some might consider the attribution of that kind of power over another's sense of comfort flattering, I don't have any desire to be an influence in your life, particularly since I don't know you personally. The knee-jerk sense of defensiveness you feel and your feeling of being "threatened by" me are not consistent with a woman of notable personal fortitude; they are more reflective of someone of extreme fragility, someone quick to judge others, and quick to cast herself as a victim. This is very much at odds with your reputation, and frankly, I find this part of your comment incredibly strange.
Additionally, I am not responsible for decisions the health insurance industry is making in relation to your health or your life, nor do I think it makes good sense to imply that MY personal word choice does now, or will ever, have any impact on how the insurance industry does business. Here you DO flatter me, but I must confess, I'm really quite confident that I DON'T have the insurance industry's ear. The words that I, Kim Brittingham, choose to use will not get or deny you, Marilyn Wann, health insurance.
The medical establishment has twisted the word "obese" to suit its own purposes. I am not responsible for that either, nor will I allow that establishment, or you, to bully me into changing how I express myself in language.
The word "obese" may very well be used to pathologize weight diversity. But that's a manipulation of a pure and simple word originally meant as yet another way to describe corpulence. I have made a personal decision not to write off the word "obese" simply because a huge community of misguided physicians and researchers have corrupted it. To me, maintaining the option to use the word as a neutral descriptor of fatness is a decision of power. That decision is my prerogative.
That said, however, there's something very light and laughable about some woman on the west coast (you) sitting at her computer wasting valuable energy feeling "defensive" and "threatened by" ME, just some stranger with a blog, who has every right to use the word "obese" once, twice, three times a year or even three hundred times a year, if I choose to. I mean, it's a free country -- if you insist, you're certainly allowed to "feel" threatened and defensive by the teeny-tiny personal choices *I* make in my little life on this small speck of the planet I call my own. But frankly, I think your energy could be spent a lot more profitably.
Reply to this
I imagine that people who hear you use the word "obese" will not hear a neutral term. They will hear a term that pathologizes and vilifies fat people, a word that is used to justify discrimination and denial of basic medical services. People in fat activist community and Health At Every Size community and fat studies community have spent a long time fighting fat hate. We've agreed as communities of resistance that the O-words, both "overweight" and "obese" are simply too dangerous and not worth reclaiming, when we have the perfectly excellent F-word, that actually was neutral at one point, unlike either of the O-words which have always been steeped in hatred of fat people. So do whatever you want. But you're not only running contrary to mainstream society's fat hate, you're also using a word that have been deemed unacceptable by communities that resist fat hate. Talk about wasting time and energy.
You're right that you and I have very little power ourselves, all alone, sitting at our computers. But I personally have found, and I think perhaps you have too, that sometimes we can be heard and have an impact. In my estimation, your efforts to rehabilitate the word "obese" are far more likely just to reinforce the fat hate atmosphere around us. That word is just indelibly a tool of The Man.
Reply to this
I can't speak for Kim, of course, but the original entry has made me consider how other groups have dealt with bigots and bullies who want to marginalize them. Blacks reclaimed the N word, Gays and Lesbians have reclaimed all sorts of "derogatory" terms. The only way to take away a bully's power is to tell him you do not acknowledge it, and that you're mad as hell, you have more in common with the rest of the human race than you have different, and you're not going to take it any more. No instant fix, but a start, albeit one that may take a generation to heal.
Reply to this
You know what? NOT "mad as hell" -- indifferent. They're just trying to get a rise out of us anyway; there's nothing helpful about putting someone down with a label. Don't let them own you, calmly but firmly speak up for yourself ("Doctor, do you give the same generic advice to your patients who aren't fat?"), and ultimately Win.
Reply to this
Hi Kim, I liked the article. Personally I think the word 'obese' is just ugly in an aesthetic sense, but it's cool that you feel you can use it neutrally.
Reply to this
I think more of us have to use it neutrally...
Reply to this
Hi Kim, I just wanted to tell you that I'm also a member of ASDAH and was privy to the comments on the thread that started this. I was astounded when you got flak for using obese. I agree with you completely and I'm glad you are a strong woman that is not afraid to use her voice. Thank you!
Reply to this
BTW, I had no idea that "obese" was actually a technically defined medical word used as a diagnosis. As a high school teacher, I'm privy to slang, and I often hear "sobese" used as a negative word (as in "I'm sobese")when girls are fat-bashing among themselves. In that usage, it really is an ugly and destructive word.
It is a true testament to how very serious the issues surrounding body size and weight discrimination are when individual words carry such enormous meaning and generate strong reactions...I think that despite disagreements or misunderstandings over semantics, anyone who is interested in dealing with these issues is sincerely trying to help and heal, no matter which words are used or what approach is taken. Peace!
Reply to this
BTW, I had no idea that "obese" was actually a technically defined medical word used as a diagnosis. As a high school teacher, I'm privy to slang, and I often hear "sobese" used as a negative word (as in "I'm sobese")when girls are fat-bashing among themselves. In that usage, it really is an ugly and destructive word.
It is a true testament to how very serious the issues surrounding body size and weight discrimination are when individual words carry such enormous meaning... I hope that despite disagreements over semantics, anyone who is interested in dealing with these issues is sincerely trying to help and heal, no matter which words are used or what approach is taken. Peace!
Reply to this
And one last thing...
You can call yourself whatever you like, Kim. That goes for everyone. Obviously.
But if you want to label me, or anyone else, then you had better expect we'll either agree or disagree.
You put a call out to interview people and you called us "obese." You got a whole lot of disagreement. This should come as zero surprise.
The government labels fat people "obese" and foments discrimination against us.
The medical and science establishments label us "obese" to get funding for their stupid research and meanwhile use that term to deny us basic medical services and threaten us with their deadly "cures."
The media have used the term "obese" thousands of times during the alleged "obesity" epidemic because it's fun for them to fan the flames of a witch hunt on fat people.
There's a power dynamic involved in who gets to name people. Either it's an outside person claiming the authority to name someone according to their worldview. Or it's the person himself or herself choosing what name s/he likes to be called.
I like to be called FAT. Anyone who calls me "obese" is going to get my disagreement, my rage, my indignation, my enmity.
If you, Kim, are looking to talk with people in fat pride community who perform as dancers, I predict most people you seek to interview will not welcome you labeling them "obese." It doesn't matter whether you think you're being neutral in using that word.
Oh, and I used to dance with Big Moves, as part of the Phat Fly Girls and as part of Mass Movement, doing hiphop and modern dance. I just emceed an event for Big Moves two weeks ago. I know a lot of people from fat pride community who perform as dancers. I don't want to Help A Reporter Out, in this case! I can't imagine any of the dancers I know wanting to talk to you after you called them "obese," either.
You seem to be acting like you're the victim of some sort of attack, in this interaction. When it's you who started it, with the name calling.
Reply to this
I use the word obese all the time, even at ASDAH meetings. It dates to the middle ages and simply means a BMI over 30. Fat, on the other hand, is often shouted as an insult and upsets many people. It also has many definitions. Using the word fat continues the confusion between fats in the diet and fat on the body.
Reply to this
Paul, I suggest you enter this debate after you've done some basic reading about identity politics. I'm sure phrenologists could date some of their concepts to the middle ages, too.
Reply to this
In my opinion, fat is a taboo because most people don't like to be described that way. Nobody likes to be called stupid even if the fact is obvious, nobody likes to be called fat even if it's obvious. Fat is an adjective but fall in the category of undesired adjectives. I remember back in preschool that kids laugh of me because I was fat, we learn from an early age that fat is an undesired adjective, so maybe that's why fat is a taboo.
Reply to this